Chrismas Snow
by JuubiOokami
Summary: Naruto is alone on Christmas and has become suicidal. A chance visit to a church makes him more sure that he is unloved and has been abanoded by even 'God'. But Beneath the act does Naruto really just want to be saved? Can Iruka get to him intime?


**Just a little something I thought of during Mass at Church for Christmas, a little Angsty, but you know me! Enjoy!**

Uzumaki Naruto walked the streets alone.

The normally dark silence was shattered this evening by a swirling merriness that was unmistakable in the air.

Naruto had never had a Christmas, and he didn't understand the concept of it in the least.

A whole bunch of people get together, argued, made up, got drunk and gave each other presents. It was a family thing apparently, but then the Blonde wouldn't know anything about that.

He didn't have a family.

As he walked the dark passage ways alone he couldn't help but feel crestfallen, not because he was sad that he wasn't celebrating Christmas, he was used to that by now.

No, he felt down because nobody had tried to find him yet, and he doubted that anybody would.

Sighing out into the cold air he watched as his breath turn to steam and curl; almost like a dragons smoke in-front of him. His feet crunched on the un-melted snow on the ground, and he could feel himself getting colder as the time passed.

After about three hours of just wondering the streets waiting for something to happen the blonde was blue to the face, and shivering uncontrollably in the clothes that were getting really far too small for him.

Well, he would only have to wear them for a few more minutes now…he was going to give them a little more time…just a bit more.

Sighing he turned and went toward the nearest building that was lit up, looked warm, and above all (He was happy to see) appeared to be empty.

-

Iruka sighed and put aside the last of the work sheets before leaning back against his chair and groaning with pleasure as his back clicked accordingly.

Then leaning forward her folded all of his work away, stood and walked toward the door of the classroom, it was about time to go home.

But before he did he had a place to go to first.

-

Naruto blinked up at the large arched roof of the building he had entered, and couldn't help but gaze at a huge metal cross that hung from the ceiling.

The room was grand, and decorated with holy, candles and varies other festive things, and the boy felt his heart sink.

He was in a church.

Almost snorting in disgust at his own choice he decided to brave staying rather then attempting to go outside again. Sitting down on one of the benches he looked around and laughed quietly to himself.

"How lame, why would anyone believe anything like this?" he asked, although, he actually knew very little about what the story, or what the Church was about.

Sighing he felt his stomach jerk, and it emitted a load noise, jeez, he was hungry.

It was off course at that direct time that he smelt food, no, not just food, very GOOD food wafting from a door to the left, at the far end of the church.

To curious and hungry to be wary he got up, and walked toward the delicious source of smell before opening the door and taking a peek inside.

The room was full of people all bustling around doing things, and talking. It was a surprise that Naruto hadn't heard them from outside, but the room was obviously sound proof…just not smell.

Opening the door a little more he looked around and saw where the smell was coming from. A large feast was set out on a long table, steaming and ready to be devoured, and Naruto couldn't suppress the hungry growl his stomach gave.

Deciding that he had nothing to loose he looked around and slipped into the room. Walking quietly toward the table and took a hold of some of the turkey on offer. It had been conveniently sliced, and surely nobody would miss a single piece gone?

Taking three more pieces, a mince pie, and some bread he snuck out again, completely unnoticed by the merry makers.

Grinning triumphantly he went back to the hard wooden benches sat down and began to eat.

"you know, that's meant to be kept till after the Mass."

A voice started the teen from behind, and he literally jumped out of his skins before turning to see a young girl staring at him.

"But, what ever, if you're hungry eat, no one will mind." She smiled, and Naruto could only stare in disbelief as she slid onto the bench next to him.

She had long brown hair to her waist, that fell un bound in soft waves. Her eyes were a dark blue, and her face was kind. He would guess she was about the age of seventeen, so a little older then him.

Naruto sat beside her looking left and right as she smiled at him, "you gonna finish it or not? What's your name by the way? I haven't seen you around."

The boy finally managed to gulp down his food, "…Naruto." He said, waiting for the cry of outrage, and to be sent from the warmth of the building. None came, and he opened his eyes in surprise.

"that's a nice name, mines Usagi, pleased to meet you." She smiled and shook his hand as he just stared at her.

"What's with you? Why are you just sitting there? How come you're not sending me out of the building?"

"Why? Have you done something wrong?" She asked curiously.

Naruto hesitated and finally sighed, "I took some of the food."

"I already said that was ok, it's for everyone to share any way, so it doesn't matter. besides, even if you were guilty, this is the house of God, your sins will be forgiven if you wish them to be and let him into your heart."

Naruto huffed, "Damn Church people, you're all just queer."

Usage laughed prettily, "You don't believe in God then?"

"Why would I? I'm a Ninja. There's no such thing as God, it's all down to us, when you die you die, that's the end of it all." Naruto shrugged, "God's just a stupid idea, like he really exists."

Usagi drew back looking almost hurt, "God is all knowing, and all loving."

Naruto realizing that he might have offended her, and there for got a one way ticket out of the warmth apologized hastily, "Sorry, I…" he looked to the floor and decided to change the subject, "So what's with this Christmas thing any way? No one ever told me, something to do with a baby being born in a cow shed or something."

Usagi's spirits immediately brightened, "Oh! You don't know the nativity story. Well basically it's the story of our lord's birth. God sent down his only child to earth to save us all, he was born of a virgin called Mary. Mary and her husband Joseph had been trying to rent a room in the inn, but it had been full. The only place left was the stable, so they stayed there, and Jesus was born."

"Who?"

"Jesus, he was God's son. And when he was born angels told all of the shepherds in to the fields and they all flocked to see the new king."

"wait? He was a kind? Then what the hell was he doing in a stable?"

"Don't blaspheme like that in a church." Usagi warned, "and he wasn't a real king, he was the king of mankind. He was born on earth to save us all from our sins. He died on the cross for us, so that we could all go to heaven and be loved by God."

"Sounds kinda gruesome to me." Naruto shrugged.

"God loves you too, you Ninja, even though you kill, he will always forgive, because he cares for you very much."

"What ever."

"He really does! God always looks after you! He loves everybody inconditionally, and is there for anybody who needs help or is alone."

'_any body who needs help…'_

Naruto who had grown inpatient of this whole 'God loves you' thing snapped back finaly, "Whatever, I don't believe in the old geezer, because he doesn't love me. Nobody does, so he must have missed me out."

'_if somebody loved me, somebody would have found me by now.'_

-

Iruka tapped on the door and waited for a reply. Sighing he shifted the parcel in his hands and knocked on the door again.

No answer came, and the young teacher began to itch a little with worry.

Finally he tried the door nob, and was dismayed to find it open. The wood slipped open to reveal a cold dark and very empty flat, that looked quite un-inhabited.

Slowly walking in the ninja stepped across the room and put the parcel down on the bed before looking around the dusty area. His eyes came upon a small letter that was placed on the untouched pillow, and picking it up he read in curiously.

The man's heart nearly stopped as he dropped the piece of paper, "O My God." He whispered and quickly checked the clock on the wall.

He still have time, he had to hurry!

-

Usagi stared at Naruto who got up, "You people, you and you're God, what a load of crap. There is no one watching your back, there is no one who really cares, and there never will be. There's just you and what you can achieve. If you can make earthly bonds then great, but that's threw your own effort and work. There is no such thing as unconditional love from some God who apparently watches over you. Because he doesn't, even if there is one, he doesn't. He doesn't care, and I am just sick and tired of people running to him with there problems, this 'God' isn't going to solve jack! So you can go on and on about how I'm going to get forgiven if I atone for my crimes as a ninja, but really in all respects, I'm doing something about my problems, so the last joke is on you."

Usagi opened her mouth to say something when a woman burst out of the room, "Usagi-Chan! You must hurry! Kenta-chan has gone missing! We can't find him!"

"Kenta-chan has? But I saw him asleep with his mother a little while ago? What happened?"

"We're not sure! But he isn't in his crib any more! You have to hurry! We have to find him! O pray to God he's alright and someone does!"

Naruto snorted, "See what I mean? I'm out of here, this isn't even worth staying warm."

With that the boy turned and left the building in uproar of name calling, this Baby Kenta was obviously important.

Strolling away from the building Naruto was stopped at the sounds of soft mewed cries.

Taking a look around he saw a tiny child rapped up in swaddling clothes lying in some hay abandoned near the dustbins. It must have been from the Nativity reenactment. Obviously someone had lifted the hay away not realizing the Baby was still in it and gotten rid of it.

Naruto was almost temped to walk away just to see if this 'God' was really going to save the kid, but another part of his made him go toward the screaming baby and take it up in his arms.

Hugging the tiny infant into his chest he cooed it and rocked it until it stopped crying, and gradually fell asleep.

Naruto chuckled, "he he, you're a good kid." Standing up he walked back toward the church and let himself in again.

Usagi immidiatly spotted him, and upon seeing the child in his arms scrambled toward him.

"Kenta-chan!" She took the tiny doll like boy from Naruto's arms and hugged it into her.

"Keep watch over your things more closely, he was outside in the hay."

"Why…why did you save him, Naruto?" Usagi looked up at him.

Naruto shrugged, "I was temped not to, just to prove that this God didn't exist, but in the end I realized that that would make me as bad as the villagers. I mean, it's not like he chose to become part of this whole 'God, church thing', he's just the victim of it all."

Usagi smiled. "What do you mean Naruto? God did save him."

Naruto snorted loudly and laughed in disgust, "What are you on? I was the one who found him, and took pity."

"Kenta-Chan is lucky, because God loves him, God led you here, and you found him. without you Kenta might have died. You saved him, because you for some reason found the will to do so. That was God showing he cared."

Naruto didn't know what to say in his disbelief, and finally all he could do is turn away, "think what ever you want. Even if this God is real he's abandoned me, so what difference does it make at all?"

"God hasn't abandoned you."

Naruto stopped and looked at his watch, ten to midnight, "Yes, yes he has." He muttered, before disappearing out into the white world.

-

Iruka had never felt so despret in his life. Where was he? The Chunnin had looked everywhere, and still no sight of the boy.

Glancing at his watch he felt his heart beat rise.

Ten minutes to midnight, he only had ten minutes! He had to hurry.

As he ran his memory burned with the information in his mind. From the letter he had read.

'_Dear who ever finds this note,_

_I've taken a good look at my life and realized a lot of things. _

_It's made me question my bonds, my relationships, and my ties. _

_It's made me question my very existence._

_I've decided that at Midnight tonight I will end my own life._

_If you care for me, find me, otherwise replace the note and forget about me._

_From_

_Uzumaki Naruto._

Iruka looked down the street desperately, there was still time yet, he had to find Naruto he HAD too!

-

Midnight, he had never felt an hour strike colder. Naruto closed his eyes, yep, he really had been abandoned.

'_maybe if I sneak home and get rid of the letter no one will know, and I won't have to die.'_

One part of him whispered, but another part of him new it wasn't possible.

If it wasn't today's job, it would be tomorrows, and why not end it all now.

Taking a deep breath Naruto began to walk toward the Hokage's monument. If he slit his wrists Kyubii would heal him, but if he had a heart attack because he jumped then he would die instantly.

There would be no turning back, it would all be through quickly and efficiently.

Naruto nodded, decided that was the best choice, and began to set out with more effort to his step.

He wondered, had he actually expected to get to this point? Had he really though that everybody had abandoned him, the truth was he had, but that he hoped it wasn't true.

Jeez, he was as bad as those church people.

Honestly, God saving him? Nobody would ever save him. 'God' would never lead a person to his rescue.

He had been the forgotten one, the one who nobody counted, and the demon child.

Not even an almighty loving God could love him, soit really had been a stupid hope.

Naruto sighed and walked through the street slowly, listening to the happy people content in their homes.

Would anyone even notice him gone? Maybe…but it would be for the best any way.

The blonde stopped and sagged his head, he had really wanted to be helped through.

For the first time in his life…Uzumaki Naruto had really and truly needed to be saved, and nobody had come for him, Nobody had-

"Naruto!"

Naruto spun around on his heal instantly just as he felt someone grab him into a desperate hug.

"o thank God, O thank God I made it in time." Iruka whispered as he clung to Naruto with all his might, "what the hell were you thinking!"

Naruto could only gaze up at the man with large blue eyes before his whole body began to shake, and he crumbled into a fit of tears.

Iruka held him firm as Naruto cried desperately into the man's chest, "I don't want to die …I really don't want to leave…"

"Shhh." Iruka rubbed his back, "You don't have to go anywhere, you're going to stay right here."

Naruto felt himself be pulled away, "I've been looking for you everywhere" He whispered wiping the tears from the boy's eyes. "Naruto…I was so scared, when I thought you…" Naruto could only stare as his Sensei hugged him closely in again, "never mind, let's not think about that."

"How did you know…" Naruto whispered.

"I don't know, I just felt that you needed someone with you tonight so I went by your flat. Then for the last fifteen minutes I have been looking for you everywhere. I was so afraid, what made you do something like that Naruto."

"I just wanted to be saved as well. I wanted more then anything for somebody to save me too."

Iruka held him tightly, "I'm sorry Naruto, I'm sorry I haven't been around. I'll make it up to you right now. You're spending the rest of Christmas with me. Come on, let's go."

"Really?" Naruto sniffed.

"Of course, what better time then now? What better time to be saved? You who needs to be reassured most of all that people care about you, besides, you've never really had a real Christmas? Right?"

Naruto opened his eyes wide, and it was he could do not to burst into tears again, and to start laughing.

Maybe he didn't exactly believe that there was some bug guy in the sky watching him the whole time, and he wasn't going to go to church for mass either. But that night, as a worried, and overly protective Iruka took him home, fed him, watered him and spoiled him beyond belief, Naruto had to admit;

That maybe, just maybe, somebody had cared enough to have him saved.

And that Iruka had loved him enough to answer the call and save him.

Maybe just maybe…

Naruto grinned under the thick mountain of warm blankets as he recalled the conversation with Usagi in the church.

Maybe…

'_The last joke had really been on me after all…'_

**Hope you liked it! And all had a very nice Christmas! Now pop in and give me a review, I would really appreciate that!**


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